Meatbag Status
by Achalys
Summary: [OneShot] Haven't you ever wondered how the conversation with Malak And HK47 conserning Meatbags went? R&R Please! Rated T for safety.


**Ok, so this is a scene about HK and Malak. Mostly about HK informing Malak of his "Meatbag" status. Read and review!!! Oh, and The exile makes an appearance!!! (Tara) As usual, I own nothing!!!! Enjoy!!!**

XxXxXxXxXxX

_Sensors online_

_Core activated_

_Beginning System check…_

_…Check Complete_

"Statement: Greetings, Master. I am HK-47 at your service."

The orange droid came to life. Revan had just finished constructing him a few minutes ago. The droid's new armor shone, and it's beet red eyes glowed. HK-47 was a truly menacing creature.

Revan beamed with pride. He had never been good with droids, and the fact that he had just made his own-and it worked-was incredible.

"HK-47," Revan commanded. " I am Revan, your master and creator. I assume that you know your programming. I have had a special case of weapons prepared for you." He walked over to a corner of the room, then back to HK, setting the large case on a table. He pushed in the codes, then a click was heard as it was unlocked. Revan carefully lifted the top to reveal an assortment of weapons, scopes, and grenades.

"Take your pick." He commanded, stepping aside for the droid.

HK happily took his time, calculating which weapons would be best by their range, weight, power, and speed. He finally decided on a special hold-out rifle, with a customized sniper strapped to it's back. He didn't touch the grenades, though.

"All done?" Revan asked as HK-47 strapped the sniper to his back.

"Gleeful Statement: Yes, Master. I have finished selecting my weapons. I have found that you know weapons very well."

Revan smiled. "Good."

He strode over to the door. "Now, you are to be my body-guard until I tell you otherwise, Understand?"

HK Nodded. " Statement: Understood, Master."

Revan Nodded. "Good. Now," He said as he opened the door. " I want you to meet my apprentice."

XxXxXxXxXxX

Malak stood in the middle of the large training-mat, lightsaber held in a defensive position, and a blindfold over his eyes. He stretched out in the force, trying to sense his opponent. He heard the softest breathing behind him. He spun around, throwing his lightsaber in the direction of the sound, hearing a clash of lightsabers. He brought the blade back to him, and-using the force-jumped into the air, only to be pushed back by the force. He back-flipped, and ran in the direction the wave of force had come from.

"Come on, Malak. You're getting slow." Came a taunting female voice from behind.

"Shut up, Tara." He growled through clenched teeth.

He ran at her voice, coming in contact with her blade, and pushing as hard as he could. He smiled as he tripped her, catching her off guard as she was trying to push back at him. He pointed his blade at what he thought was her throat, before sensing a small ripple in her force. He spun around, and pointed his lightsaber at Tara, as she did the same with her lightsaber. It was so close that the heat from her purple blade made Malak sweat.

He dropped and tried to trip her again, using the force as a guide. She was, too, and jumped up just in time. She force-pushed his blue blade away, and by instinct, he pulled her own purple blade into his hand.

She paused a second, hesitating. He took his chance, and swung her lightsaber at her. She leaned back, avoiding her own blade by inches. She spun around him, and, grabbing his arm, flipped him on his back.

"That's enough!" Malak could recognize Revan's voice anywhere. He took off his blind-fold, and saw that Tara had done the same. She got her lightsaber, and headed off to take a shower, seeing that Revan wanted to talk to Malak.

Revan noticed Tara and commented to his make-shift general, " Tara. Nice work on Onderon. You gave the mandalorians a run for their money."

Tara nodded. "Thanks." Before leaving the way Revan had come.

HK-47 stood there silently as Revan called Malak over.

Malak force-pulled his saber into his hand, and, shutting it off, hooked it to his belt. "Yeah?"

"HK-47, meet my apprentice, Malak. Malak, meet HK-47." Revan said, his arms crossed and pride evident in his stance.

"Statement: Greetings."

Malak stared at the large droid. "Yeah. Same here."

Revan's comn link made a noise. He looked at it, and frowned. "I'll be right back. HK, stay here." He commanded, striding towards the exit.

Malak shrugged, and went to get a glass of water. After a few big long sips of water, all of the time staring intently at HK, he noticed.

"Query: Is there a reason that you are inspecting me, human? Or are you just malfunctioning?" HK's voice was as rude as it allowed.

Malak. Slammed his cup on the table and walked over to the orange assassin droid. "Are YOU malfunctioning?!"

"Defensive Statement: Why, I don't know what you're talking about!"

Malak Tried to stare HK down, which wasn't very successful since it's eyes were unchanging. Plus they gave Malak a head-ache. "Fine. You win….What'd you think of the fight?"

HK's eyes lit up even more as he spoke. "Statement: You and the female are almost evenly matched, though you are more sluggish in movement, and let her get the upper-hand by your clumsiness. I suggest that you fight without a blind-fold."

"But that was the whole _point_!" Malak frowned.

HK sighed. Or at least, as close as he could come to it. " Statement: You humans confuse me. You all want to be the best, yet you give yourselves a disadvantage in battle on purpose! It is all so very confusing."

Malak rolled his eyes. "That's so we can get better!"

"Sarcastic Statement: Ah yes, since it seems to be helping you ever so much."

Malak felt his eyebrow twitch. "…Just forget it."

They stood there for a few seconds, not doing anything.

"So…What do you think of everything so far?" Malak asked.

"Annoyed Statement: Oh, you are all _so_ weak! You all look the same!...Except for the Master, of course."

"Oh…What about me? What do you think of me?" Malak asked slowly, as if it took some effort to get the question out.

If he could of, HK would've rolled his eyes. "Statement: You are a meatbag, of course."

Malak's eyes went wide. "A MEATBAG?! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"

"Exactly what I said. Statement: You are a meatbag because of all of that sloshing. It is disturbing, and I do not know how you cope with it."

"So….I'M FAT?!"

"Annoyed Statement: No, you are not…As you say "Fat". You are a meatbag. I do not understand how that is so hard to understand."

Malak stared at the droid, his mouth open., and his eyes wide.

Just then, Revan strode back into the room. "Close your mouth, Malak. You don't any bugs to get in there." He said, as if it was something that happened a lot.

"Ah, HK-47, Good. I have a Mission for you…What? HK, what did you do to Malak?" Revan demanded.

"Statement: I merely informed him of his meatbag status." HK said as if it was a complement.

"A…Meatbag?" Revan asked, laughing so hard that he grabbed his ribs.

Malak looked at Revan. "I-It's NOT funny!"

After a while, Revan took control of himself again. "Ahem…Very well. HK, come with me. As I said before, I have a mission. Malak…Just…Go back to whatever it was that you were doing." He said with a smile.

Malak looked like he wanted to pull all of his hair out. If he had had any.

Revan walked off with HK not far behind. "Meatbag, huh? I like the sound of that. We'll see if we can re-program you. I'm sure Malak would just love it." He chuckled.

HK nodded. "Statement: Yes, Master. I'm Sure that he would…"

The End

**We all know what happened next, don't we? Malak was annoyed to no end, and HK was sent on a mission which he never came back from…Until Tatooine, that is.**

**I just LOVE HK-47, and I thought I'd write something in honor of him!!! Whoever comments gets a cookie!!!**


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